Don't Go All Elliptical with Me

I didn't make it to the pool today, but I made it to the gym this evening. I thought for variety I'd try the elliptical machine. Big mistake. I couldn't figure the crazy thing out. One set of buttons made the front go up and down and another set of buttons seemed to increase or decrease the resistance. I could go "forward" or "backward," as though that makes any sense for a motion not normally seen in nature.

But I couldn't figure out how to make the exercise easier or harder. Everything seemed harder. Having the front up was a more natural motion which was easier, but it was harder. More resistance meant I wasn't moving so fast, so it was easier, but it was harder. Going backward was just painful. If sweat means the workout is good, I guess it was worthwhile.

After half an hour of abusing both my body and mind (yeah, I was watching "American Idol," too), I gave up and found a treadmill to cool off. Now there's a machine I can understand.